New Year, New Me(ntall health problems)!!

So, I'm sure I'm not mentally healthy. I don't know however what exactly is wrong with me. My last psychiatrist was kinda shit and I struggle talking about my symptoms anyway, so no diagnosis for me. But that doesn't stop me from trying to figure it out myself!

Every winter, as expected, I'm forced to mostly stay at home. Not only it's cold outside, but also winter break, so I end up not seeing people for some time. It's also dark most of the time and quiet, so this is perfect environment to spiral into feeling bad. Every year, around December-February I self-diagnose myself if bunch of different disorders and then not do anything about them. It's honestly tiring. 

 Two years ago I was convinced I'm schizophrenic, last year it was psychosis and OCD, and this year I'm pretty sure I show symptoms of OSDD. And what? Nothing. I'll convince myself everything is okay as soon as it starts getting warmer, at least I hope so. Because what other option do I have? 

 I actually tried to contact my psychiatrist as soon as I started feeling wore AND SHE DIDN'T PICK UP. I have no clue what happened to her, there are no information about her retiring, but on Google there is an information that her office no longer exists. So now I need to find another doctor and start everything from beginning! Also I'm running out of meds, it's terrifying, I'm going to spiral so much more without them.

Now clue how to finish this, I just needed to rant somewhere. ANYWAY, late Happy New Year to however read this thing to the end!! mwah!