a grueling process

I am legit so scared for the new semester already. I can't fail again, I'll get kicked out of school and lose everything, I can't let that happen. I can't be a failure, not already. I try my ass off and yet I still don't succeed so I'm beginning to believe I'm just destined to suck at everything I do... but fuck I'll try, I'll try to do good. no fuck that, I know I'll do good, I have to, I don't have a choice. Everything should be okay, I fucking hope... Once I get off of academic probation, everything will be somewhat easier, and by then- this semester will be done and I'll have summer vacation, well kinda, I'll need to retake my classes in the summer, but still, it'll be easier I hope... I really fucking hope. Being an adult is hard... and I just started.