First week back to school.

Today is my Friday.

Due to the cold weather here in the south, a digital day is happening tomorrow.

I honestly don't know why I'm typing this. I think I'm just trying to get my mind off things.

With the politics of the era, my dwindling friendships, and my creative burn out and indecisiveness...

School seems almost too normal to be stressful.

Monday was my first day back, I started my day in a new class. All Seniors in my school take Government and Economics. They have one for one semester, and switch classes the second one. My teacher seems nice, but unfortunately my class was split in half rather than being the same exact group. This means no contact between me and someone I used to talk to. I also don't have his contact information due to events I don't wish to disclose.

You probably picked this up by now, but I'm an outcast. Short temper, niche interests, and a slight arrogance. I'm also a bit of a teacher's pet, not in the way of snitching on others (though, I certainly will if I find them annoying), but more in the way I find my teachers a lot more relatable than those my age.

I also got a temporary solution for my creative crisis in the form of an assignment. We're doing a large unit on true crime in my English class, having to make a podcast about a case of our choice. I picked David Glenn Lewis after having watched the Nexpo video on him back when it came out.

I might post my completed project on my Youtube channel or something, but since my mental state is on a steep decline right now I doubt it will be released soon.

I recorded lines for my podcast yesterday and today. I kept feeling my voice strain yesterday though and was constantly messing up my wording and calling the unidentified body (that would later be identified as Lewis) Jane Doe instead of John Doe. Sometimes I swear I feel like I'm having a stroke or about to have an aneurysm. I hope that doesn't happen.

It was nice to get out of the noisy classroom, where there's always this trio of students bickering with each other. Two boys and One girl. Everyday it's an argument, messing with each other's stuff, and overall being massive pricks to each other. I don't understand why they insisted to work together when this has been an issue since last semester.

I think this is where all the copies of the "Woke" books are stored, or that seems to be the case from the titles I read. Probably kept here so they aren't stolen or vandalized, but I could be entirely wrong.

As for the rest of my classes I didn't really talk to anyone. I cut off most people I knew from school merely a month before I made my SpaceHey account. They were always using me as the butt of their jokes, and even if they weren't being that serious about what they were saying it still really hurt as I suffer with my self worth a lot.

I kinda want to reach out to just one of them, he was less mean and more like a walking shitpost generator. Meanwhile the one I was closest to is doing home schooling now after a lot of trauma came his way last year. There's also my goth friend who is basically the only person I talk to at school that isn't a staff member. She's kinda funny, even if I have to let her copy my work a lot.

There was this girl I talked to last semester, but she doesn't seem to like me anymore. That's kinda fair, I had just distanced myself from everyone I talked to and was like "we both have shit to talk about [name here], wanna talk shit together?" and practically just inserted myself into her life. That was pretty rude of me, but it's also just what happens when you're desperately trying to find someone good to be friends with.

Anyway. Classes are going pretty easy for now, practically speeding through Math. My teacher lost his voice too, so that's interesting.

I don't want to sound like the student who wants to have a sub so there's less work, but my Teacher is very much a workaholic. He should take some time off if he still doesn't have his voice back after a few days.

Outside of School life hasn't been that great either, got into a scuffle with someone in a Friend discord server and now feel pretty awkward looking at it. Admittedly, as much as I'm ready to let my temper out, confrontation is one of my worst fears. I think they deserved it though, they are a bigot and for some reason target me especially.

After that happened last night I decided to work in gmod on a design for a character I'm going to turn into a 3D model. I also have a model of a friend I still need to texture. Yet I haven't felt creatively energized since Monday outside of the small edits I make to the podcast audio and writing it's script.

I'm still trying to learn sfm, especially how to get garry's mod maps into it. I know gmod allows you to play with sliders regarding limits but I never really considered the idea that the gmod max value wouldn't be the source engine standard. So I've been collecting tutorials on that. What really sucks is that one of the maps I want to use, rp_nycity, is very much too big. It kinda sucks. I'll still try though.

Sorry for rambling so much. Sorry I put Delta Final on hiatus. Sorry I'm a fuck up.