Fleeting emotions

I don’t think I can become happy ever again. I can imitate the emotion, being around those that get me excited or doing things I enjoy, yet I doubt I can feel happy. I don’t know if I ever felt happy. Others might think I have, but that may be because they painted me in a view of me actually being happy because they were happy. Sometimes I subconsciously copy the things around me and it affects my emotions, yet I don’t know if it can make me feel it by genuine. 

Its just weird to be alive