Self harm

Nothing as ever really felt as good as harming myself. Cutting over things that upset me or anger me feels so grounding. Everything disappears when I slice my skin and I finally feel okay again and in control of my emotions instead of letting them become bigger than my body again. When I was in my period of cutting, I was so ecstatic and happy it’s almost bizarre. Frankly, I love it. It’s pleasing, so pleasing to just let it out on myself. It feels like both hatred and self love at the same time. Im cutting myself because I hate myself, but I’m doing it to feel better because I worry about my feelings. Its so funny to be inside a human body and be alive with feelings