A love song

In school you are asked what you wanna be when you grow up or what are some of your wishes/dreams. I never had an answer to it because at the time it seemed unattainable. I felt like I was a loser all throughout high school because I was the only person without a dream or an aspiration in life. The only thing I have ever wanted was to travel the world. I grew up in poverty so I never told anyone this dream. The percentage of people who truly make it out of poverty is close to 0. Here I am, first to graduation high school, to go to college, and now upcoming on first to graduate college. Yet I feel this pit in my stomach, this dark cold spot, that I am just fooling myself. I know I’m loved but I never felt like I was. There’s only been one time I felt loved but I stopped feeling their love when our minds thought differently and their love felt like I would have to give up what I thought or believed in. Now, I have a new dream. A dream I feel like is silly but something i secretly been longing for since I was a kid. I want to feel loved. I want to experience a love that consumes me in the most healthiest way. I want to feel like I am deserving of that love and that my past speaks no volume with it. I don’t want to feel broken when I meet a man that appears to have it together. I just want to feel loved in any way. I gave up feeling the love from family and friends. I want to be seen and heard and loved.