personal

everything feels personal everything feels like some sort of mockery. i notice too much for my own good. anything can be reasonably explained away but when have i ever been reasonable? i start feeling hypocritical and then i remember things are different now i give people more than i get. i never know how to ask for the reciprocation i know itd be fine but what if its not. i built that torturous image of low maintenace when in reality im fucking crazy. reassurance is nice but its terrifying to see people figure me out and its terrifying to imagine how tired of me they might be of my vague remarks and violent moods. imsorryihatebeingsoselfishbuticanthelpit