Report Blog Entry
im trying to currently change and better myself in the upcoming months before I go to an alternative high school next school year so I can start fresh and when I do so not hate myself and make better choices for myself and how I live my life. I'm a more chubby curvy girl and although I'm fine with it and feel nice when people appreciate me for how I am in scene culture usually scene girls are skinny and pretty and although I like my curves its hard to see myself the way other scene girls are.
i think I used to have a ED??? my dad would constantly harass me about being fat and compare me to how scrawny I used to be even tho that was when I was prepubescent and I looked that way bc I got height before everything else, he'd force me to go to the gym and would yell at me yet also overfeed me at home with not wanting to waste food and we mainly only had fast food bc he can't cook, so bc of that and depression for a while at my moms house and school id pretend that I ate but really I'm just starving myself to be skinny.
I'm not forced into any of this stuff anymore since Im in a better environment rn but despite how I hate psychically active especially since I suck at sports and I always end up injured (fuck u dad I was suppose to be 5'10 but doing sports everysingle day and getting yelled at and beaten sometimes ended up in me being stuck at 5'5) but I feel like exercising at my own pace and limits but still pushing myself, trying to eat better and not force myself to eat constantly, but still not starving myself.
opinions on what I should do or tips on eating habits, healthy meals, or how I should start losing weight or just take better care of myself are appreciated <3
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
magilon
i'm also having a problem with self-image and healthy habits. it's definitely a journey, but going to an extreme is never going to be beneficial as you'll never really be satisfied, unfortunately. i find making meals when i can to be helpful. if that's not an option, i'm a big fan of smoothies, personally. i got this small travel blender, and i love it! just try to get as balanced of a meal as you can. also, i looked up exercise routines and used them to build my own. start simple so you aren't overwhelmed/burn out super fast. test out different routines to see what you like. i like to choose one exercise for each "section" of my body. i work out my arms, core, and legs. i'm far from a professional, but at least i am addressing multiple parts of my body.
overall, just allow your body to fluctuate as you continue to grow. stressing over how you look is pretty draining. if you feel good, then you are good (not all the time, but it's a good overall mindset). as long as you establish you are doing it for your health, i think you'll get far.
good luck :)