Being touch deprived is not for the weak

I had my first cuddle session with the work crush. Actually, he's no longer a work crush since I don't work with him anymore, but nonetheless, I somehow was able to cuddle with him on his bed. And now, that is all I've been thinking about. It was one of those moments where I thought to myself, "I can't believe I've never done this before." I wish I was normal and wasn't making a big deal out of this, but I'm so touch deprived, and I've never shared that kind of intimacy with someone else, ever. I've never caressed someone's back while their arm was around my waist, or had my legs so intertwined with someone else's, or wrapped my leg around someone's waist while they caress my thigh. In my twenty years of living, I've never, physically, been that close to someone, and it was so nice but so out of the ordinary for me. I mean, we were playing with each other's hands and rubbing our feet together, who just plays with someone's hands? And rubbing feet? I hate feeling other people's feet on me, yet I voluntarily put feet next to his. I've only cuddled him once and I already miss it. Obviously, it helps the fact that the person I was cuddling with is someone I'm extremely attracted to, it just makes me miss it even more. I never saw myself as someone who enjoyed physical touch, I don't even hug my closest friends often, but I miss having his arms around me. EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW I SOUND SO FUCKINGGGG GROOOOSSSSSSUUUHHHHHH I CANT BELIEVE A MAN IS MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK