song lyrics i wrote (plz tell me ur opions or criticisms)

I've been trying to self-teach lyrical writing for a few years, it isn't much but here are some verses I came up with and might use at some point in a full song. plz tell me ur opinions and thoughts :3

{Intro}

tired day and night

everything's been hard since you're gone

the light has left my eyes 300 times 

yet I'm still here, breathing

tired all the time,

it seems like the only thing I do is cry 

everytime that I'm around 

your head is down

if I met your eyes they're (Idk what to put here yet, broken?)

{chorus type:]

and I will,

love you till the end

cause you were my best friend 

you're everything to me, (ohh oh)

and I will 

love you till I'm dead

cause you were my best friend,

I still wish that I were dead

(instrumental then verse)

it hurts, to see you like this

just because I still exist 

its a dagger though my side each time 

I'm reminded of the fact 

that you hate me (ohh oh)

if it made you happy, id disappear

since you don't want me near

you're all I've cared about

I do everything for you

(instrumental and a lot of la's going with it)

id let you, break apart my spine 

i swear that i wont mind

as long as I'm with you, I'm fine 

and i miss your- collarbones on mine

i felt more then alright when i had you, by my side

if it meant that, i could look into your eyes 

one more time before I die 

id adore my last memories, (end?)

still working on it, I think its decent enough to work on but I might scrap it 

this is my work btw plz don't steal