idk, just thinking

12/22/24

10:31PM-10:44PM

Time goes by so fast. I sometimes think of the past two years and how much I kind of miss certain points in my life. Even my time in community college I get some nostalgia thinking about it and I miss how peaceful it was at the time and the time when I was friends with that girl which were the happiest moments of my life. Even my first semester away at college, even thought I was very lonely, sad, and going crazy at times there was still good things about it. Sometimes I wish I could go back and relive certain things. I hate how old I've become and how I'll never get to be young again. The worst part of that is the fact that I'm not the man that young me wanted to be and I will probably never be able to be satisfied with how I end up. I wish I could contribute something of value to the world. At times I feel like worthless trash. Maybe I am. I know I am. I just get worse and worse after time. I'm tired of setbacks being thrown at me. It's very demoralizing. Especially when I see others around me succeed and people getting everything I could ever wish for. And they don't even appreciate it as much as I would.