Psychological Egoism and interpersonal conflicts

Hey there, I decided to postpone my entry on non-clinical depression and instead decided to expand upon a different topic for a bit. This isn't some sort of well thought-through article, but rather a collection of thoughts. I'm always open for any sort of discussion and I'm super happy about all the people that have reached out over my IMs in order to do so! :)

When encountering other human beings within any sort of relationship and conflict, it's good to have some sort of framework through which we can categorize and understand what's going on during those interactions. 

One of the inherrent views I hold, and that describes human nature to its core, is the idea that humans ultimately always act in their own self-interest. This view is referred to as Psychological Egoism. Despite many philosophers, including Hume, arguing against this position, I'm still going to advocate for it. I'm not going to give you the textbook definiton of this view, but rather want to explain to you how I see things through this lens. 

I first stumbled upon this concept unknowingly when I first heard of Altruism in our former philosophy classes. Altruism was essentially posing that humans can act in an unselfish manner, fully concerned with only the well-being of someone else. Instantaneously I felt a strong opposition to this idea. If I walk up to a homeless person and give them some money out of concern, how did I not act in my own self-interest? I felt some sort of negative emotion (whatever made me feel concerned i.e. pity) and then decided to give him money with those emotions acting as my motivators. Once I gave him the money, parts of my negative emotions were pacified. The reason I decided to act was ultimately because I wanted to serve my own form of empathy. 

Whenever we decide to take any action for any reason at any point in time, it always happens because some sort of internal motivator occurs within us that we want to satisfy. Without those motivators, we wouldn't act. And to serve these motivators is to act in our own self-interest. Thus every action we take is ultimately self-serving. 

A good way to see this work out is to simply ask yourself some questions about why you decided to take action using any example you can think of. Why did you decide to act? What underlying things motivated your decision? At some point, the destination you reach will always be within yourself. 

I myself tend to rationalise a good chunk of any conflict of interest I have with a person close to me. I mostly do so in order to understand what I actually want/need and how I can better align these needs with the other person. It's always important to keep in mind that minding the other persons interests is completely within our own interest, if we want our own needs to be recognised and fulfilled as well.

If fully thought-through, Psychological Egoism is an important framework in order to work together with the people around us. They have their motivations, I have mine. If me and them need to work together, we need to pay attention to each others motivations, if we want things to go in our favour.. our self-interest. 

I also enjoy this idea because being more or less "selfish" isn't what defines a good person if this view is agreed upon because everyone is equally selfish. Rather, it's the person that acts with the least amount of impulse. It's the person that stops and thinks about their actions and its outcomes before deciding to act, keeping the well-being of the people around them in mind, for their own sakes (most of the time).