12/12/24
loss of structure
structure is lost
splurge
regulate excess
(develop structure)
conditions change
structure is lost
maybe
what i need is a meta-structure... like a proceduralized way to
modify/restart/give up existing structures in the face of shifting
conditions
---
key:
structure = routine / method / way of thinking that puts me into a happier space
i
am really struggling to adapt to change because i have little self
control or a even a firm awareness of what i want to be doing. my
usual method is to just let myself go at things and when i feel horrible
i'll change... i think i'm going to develop something better.
so
many things have changed... i suddenly always have more or less
schoolwork, more or less busywork, different schedules, random and
unplanned outings, etc. i can no longer rely on just doing homework,
listening to music, and being chronically online to fill up all of my
time.
i've experienced this many times before, almost everyone has, so it should be easy.
---
12/17/24
metastructure
i. think about what i want to do
ii. think about what i have to as things i want to do
iii. execute tasks according to whim and natural desire (intrinsic reward)
a) create structure as needed
iv. adapt as needed
problem: when conditions change drastically my whims are skewed towards cheaper, addicting satisfactions
solution: take actions which reverse whim-skew. e.g., listening to music i want to imitate. aka step 1 of the above structure.
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sado
your writing is dope af
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lol too much time spent introspecting and making online friends has led me to become a surprisingly articulate person
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