Library Book Incident

Alright, the other day I went to some library to enrich myself because I have major depression. Yall gotta listen up here cause I now believe the average public library is hell on earth, if hell is a mysterious-stained bookplace with like 70 year old lesbian potterheads at the front desk. Or maybe this one was just weird idunno, but my opinions on these places has been lowered recently because of a little problem I had.

So there was recently some work done and new staff at a nearby library I used to go to when I was really little, rightttt across into another close town like mine. My mom made me go because she wants me to like be happy for some reason. Now I wanted to grab some books that the internet told me were real good, including but not limited to: A Tale of Two Cities, The Hobbit, and Dune. I had that one goal in mind okay? It was not hard and there's just no way that anything could go wrong ATTT ALLL.

So it went badly. You know my life and you see the name and icon of the account making this, It's all bad. Like not only did not one of those books show up in the catalogue, I tried to find something different and ended up failing badly. So I went to the people at the front desk because I'm a big girl and I can be social. Turns out they were married. This was really wholesome because apparently they were a couple since the 1970s. Honestly one of the better encounters with people I had in recent weeks. Now they recommended me some kinda Harry Potter thing because of course they would. Not only were one of them wearing a pin with that weird gryffindor symbol, they even named one of their pet mice Hermoine for christ sake.

Now who am I to judge for being horribly obsessed with something fictional? It's like I'm throwing boulders at a glass house over here. Besides, I'd probably name something after Lusamine. I already have actually, anyways I didn't immediately dismiss them because maybe we were kindred spirits in that obsession regard and I was beginning to like these people. I went and took their book suggestion even if the author is a scumbag because I wanted to just be nice. That's all I wanted. I thumbed through the pages of one of like the last books in the series for some reason. I don't really know why I'm like that but I'm rad and we won't question anything.

I encountered a large brown stain in like the middle of the book, it smelled like chocolate if it was made in a dumpster. It had GREEN IN IT TOO. Best part is that I got a fingerfull by mistake. Delicious!!! So after some silent sobbing I had to enter a public bathroom, kill me! And I had to scrub the substance off. Took a solid like 4 minutes because I'm not taking chances here.

My finger smelled like boiled used bandaids for HOURS after this. I had to tell those harmless old women that their book chemically assaulted me and they apologised profusely for this book's incontinence. We never figured out what awful thing was in the book, but my depression was not subsided at all and I was not enriched. 

Next time, I won't risk my life to read a book because a very nice woman suggested it to me. Not unless my mom tests it for me or something. However, I will absolutely go back because they were really nice.

-Lusamine's really grossed out and exhausted concubine