(THIS IS A RE-UPLOAD)

so… its been one week since ive moved. you mightve seen my bulletin saying i was going to make a blog after 24 hours of living in my house. and obviously i didnt lol

i kinda thought more stuff was gonna happen in the 24 hours of living here but.. no. not really, actually. which is a HUGE relief. ive legit been preparing for moving for 4 whole ass months, i not only have a plan B i have plan C and multiple other smaller backup plans. im ready as shit so really i shouldn’t have too much to worry about

but im still mega worried and ive been worried for months. the day before i moved i was having an anxiety attack so badly i completely lost my appetite. im still kinda worried mums gonna snap randomly and just chuck everything into that box, but seeing how its been a week, shes had all the time in the world to do this and she hasnt and nothing has been mentioned… i THINK im fine??? 
anyway, i should probably actually talk about how this week has gone cuz a few small things have happened.

so, last friday. i woke up at 4 am due to anxiety and them fell asleep and woke up to that scary lady from hells week. you know.. the one my dad was messaging. speaking of her, and well get back on topic in a moment, shes fucking weird man. shes like 50 or something and shes got a mega high pitched voice and she sounds like the aussie version of a valley girl. and her and my dad speak weird to each other and more… eh, loving? friendly? more nice to each other than how my parents actually talk to each other day to day. and semi recently she sent something that really sent something down my spine. 
a few weeks ago i went to go ask my dad where the ps3 was gonna go when we moved and which box it was going in and he told me it was just gonna go in the same box with the ps5. as i was walking out of the kitchen i heard her say 

“arent you a good daddy?” 

WHATTTTT DOES THAT MEAJ WHAT WHAT EHAT??????? it maybe… MAYBE couldve been acceptable if i was like, 6. but im 15 years old? its pretty fucking weird lol.

but at this point in my life if my dad was doing crack cocaine i wouldnt care… so…
ANYWAYYYYYYYY back to the actual topic. 
so i got up, packed my shit and went to my grandmas. my cat was staying at my old house while i was at grandmas, and my parents were staying at the old house helping the movers put stuff away. i assumed my mum would put him in the cat carrier that she dragged out this morning for most of the day while the movers were around. apparently i was wrong about that but ill talk about that soon

anyway grandmas wasnt too bad. then it turned 3 and my mum messaged me saying something about how the cat was scared stuff. but idk, it didnt seem like something i HAD to reply to. thats probably a stupid move from my end but just keep it mind no emergencies were happening. apparently mum was so disgruntled by this that she told dad, who messaged me grandma to tell me i needed to message her back. 

i sent some boring response, and then hung out with my lil bro. then my grandma came in AGAIN saying i needed to message my mum back. 
i went to, and saw that my phone totally died. so i told my grandma that it died. then she came in like 2 minutes later saying that my mum wants me to come home and take care of the cat. which was.. really weird? like, ik he can be annoying but if hes freaking out about the movers and trying to hide its best for him to be in the cat carrier. like… i was THINKING SHE WOULD DO. 

i said to my grandma i would message her back to see whats going on and she straight up refused to leave my room for like a whole ass minute until i very firmly and angrily said i would message my mother back. she came into my room MULTIPLE times after that saying stuff that made out that my mother was having a complete mental breakdown and that the house was an absolute hellscape because of.. the cat? i was so confused and very pissed off that my mum was making problems again. 

eventually grandma came in and said i NEEDED to go home and fix the problem, and i said fine because my phone was being a prick anyways. i was in her car thinking to myself “wow, my middle aged father is relying on his 15 year old son to calm down his own WIFE. i love my family dynamic, its so healthy.”
i said asked why the hell this was even happening cuz again, the cat isnt THIS hard deal with. my grandma said “well.. you know how your mother gets” 

i went to the house and she saw me and said “oh thank god! its not like ive been waiting for someone to help me for 3 hours.” and “i sent you 20 messages!” which i said “my phone died” and i could SEE her attempt to respond with an argument lol

we went around tryna find my kitty and he seemed almost gone, i assumed she had looked through the obvious spots. i kept asking her while we were looking “did you put him in the cat carrier?” and she just would refuse to answer until eventually she said no AND that hes been missing for 20 MINUTES. we found him in the kitchen cabinet, and then she didnt say anything to me so i assumed we could just go back to my grandmas place. 
but as we were leaving dad came and said mum wanted me to stay to calm him down? so i said “well hes coming with me then.” 

and then mum started freaking out and said i needed to stay because he’ll have no food and no litter and in response my dad just chucked the litter into my grandmas car. mum still wasnt having it and legit ran up to my grandmas car and said hes gonna pee everywhere outta nervousness and he needs food and going to new place is gonna freak him out. and i said very firmly “i only have 2 hours left to stay at grandmas before i go home. he wont do anything in 2 hours.” and then left. 

and i was right. he genuinely did nothing for 2 hours, and i made sure to check up in him every once and a while (see? how hard was that?) 
i checked the “20 messages” my mother had sent me now that my phone was working. and would you know it, genuinely like 3 messages and not even in the span of one hour. in the span of 2 fucking MINUTES…..

so eventually, its the big time. im seeing my new home. and.. it actually doesnt look as bad as i thought it would. i was basically crying thinking about the potential grey prison i was gonna end up living in. but its not bad, actually. the bathroom is still shit, though. and now that ive been in for a week its starting to feel like one of those disgusting public beach toilet/showers. 

i went up to my room and saw my mum was making my bed. she asked me to ask dad where the tools were. so i tried finding him, couldnt and then i kinda forgot and hung out with my brother instead. then dad came in and said i have to go help mum. when i went to my room i heard my mum say something i didnt make out, my dad replied with “shes trying.” (referring to me) so i knew she probably said that i didnt care about anything she does or whatever. 

i went into my room and she asked “did you find the tools?” and i said sorry i couldn’t find dad and she replied “so you left me alone? you left to make your bed and deal with the cat?” as if i left her with a snake or something. 
and after she made my bed and gave me the internet password. 

she said the internet makes a profile with the device and adds restrictions, i was kinda spooked thinking that the other stuff was gonna come for me soon if she was already doing this. but i quickly came to the realisation that if i… idk felt freaky one night and wanted to jork it i could just use my mobile data with wifi off? also it didnt matter cuz the internet got replaced like 2 days later?

at the end of the day, my mum sent me this message. 

“I'm really upset .... being left with so much stress looking after the cat all alone whilst trying to do the rest of the move... really needed your help. can you please boost your responsibility for the cat?” 

so take that as you will, i guess.

 SPEEDRUN OF OTHER STUFF THATS HAPPENED (in dot points)
-been playing an insane amount of voices of the void (thanks joel) and its super cool! 
-until like monday (we moved on a friday) i was very dissociative until i randomly decided i was gonna force myself to cry and i got really giddy and happy about everything
-also almost had a genuine fucking panic attack while playing tf2 cuz someone in chat said “can you turn the music off” and i freaked tf out cuz i thought my mic was on SOMEHOW the entire time ive been playing the game. i dont think it was but still… idk ive been generally really spooked by everything lately
-im prolly gonna get an og xbox cuz for some reason my grandma is suddenly agreeing? also the wii should be in the storage with my clothes so ig we’ll get that soon
-earlier this week while playing votv my mum started calling me on everything saying she was locked out, went and opened the front door and she said “why did it take you 20 minutes of messaging for you to open the door?!” i said that my notifications were off (lie) and she said “you know… we got you that phone so that we could easily contact you.” 
-then the next day i woke up to her saying “i got locked outside and had to crawl through the doggy door because you didnt come help me!!!!! what the hell?!” i tiredly said that i just woke up and she said “oh you should be waking up early anyway! and by the way you need to do something about your cat running around the house at night because he peed on something and im NOT dealing with that right now!!” 
-yesterday i came home to my dad being super quiet and my mum obviously looking like she had cried. i asked my brother what had happened and if my parents got into an argument, he said “mum was crying because no one is helping her take stuff out of the old house”. i asked how he knew that and he said “she told me” 
-SCHOOL IS OVER! thank christ. genuinely, i think that whole online school experience was the biggest waste of time in my entire life. cant wait to tell my parents wen im 18 that i didnt do a single bit of work the entire year XP

so yea… so far, life hasnt been a horrible nightmare like ive been convinced it was for the past 4 months. i still think something bad is going to happen because of this move, but we’ll see.

like i said the house doesnt actually look so bad. my room is pretty cozy, despite it being very empty at the moment. that fresh paint smell from the house has finally gone and has been replaced by this general warmness, like the house itself is opening its arms to me. well buddy, your gonna be in for a wild sad ride with our family. just make it easy for me and my brother, okay? 

and hey! my view from my bedroom window isnt too bad. i actually took a picture last night! 

(looks a little creepy)

aannddd heres a photo i got of my ps3 workin with muh tv :3

well, またね