Sometimes I hate being gay

I hate that I have to explain my identity to every new person and they still don’t get it. Even my girlfriend doesn’t understand who I am. It’s exhausting to want to be understood so deeply but for it to be impossible. I want someone to know me. They never get it. They just end up making me upset and unheard. They label me like a cow being prepared for slaughter. They pierce my flesh and say “this is what you are now”. I did not want this. To be stuck in an endless loop of begging and forgiving. I want to be me. Listen to me. I want to be me.