just talking to talk i guess

current feelings:

i feel really overwhelmed with school right now my essay was extended and so was my presentation and i think i might have done okay on my bio test yesterday but im just so worried all my dreams will be crushed by my own stupidity especially with finals coming up 

will i ever reach the potential i see in myself?

my eng prof is incredibly strict about grading and i keep messing up the formatting but you know its whatever at least im okay i spent the day relaxing yesterday and had an okay time then i found this page on a youtube video that i randomly stumbled across 

it restored my faith in the internet as a whole and the time ive spent on it so far has made me realize just how much i missed this with my entire heart 

i started sharing poetry on here and im probably gonna post a couple more today, i might share links to my bandcamp (a fitting alternative to soundcloud and bandlabs, reminds me of the old internet) so that you guys can listen to my music if you want!!! 

what am i going to do today?

today im going to make chicken,rice, and zucchini for dinner for my boyfriend and i and its going to be soooooo good 

right now im sitting in the student lounge thinking about christmas and feeling incredibly wistful 

i am going to get my boyfriend soooo many cool things!!! :D 

i missed this feeling of writing on a page like this it makes my heart warm and im just so thankful that God led me in this direction because honestlly i dont share it a lot with my friends and family but often i feel so overwhelmed by the new internet, the new modern standards, everything new and labeled and its just so good to step back from that i guess even if my friends dont get the appeal of this new app or site

maybe ill just sit here in the lounge and play some minecraft on an old version, think of all the fun  memories i had, go get my boyfriend from his job when he gets off and then take a nice warm shower and just breathe! 

then i'll make us tacos or something for lunch :) 

my goals for this week: 

i want to make another beat, learn at least one song on the piano, write a few poems, work on some crafts like the book im binding, spend time relaxing, work out at home with the yoga mat i just bought (but never freaking use!!), do at least one kind thing for someone that i care for, and try my very very very best to just take deep breaths and remember its all going to be just fine... 

i hope