rambling, volume five <3

i am genuinely abt to kms and the people around me couldn’t care less ^_^ 

WHY DO NONE OF YOU CARE ABT ME????? I TRY SO SO SO FUCKING HARD FOR YOU AND YOU JUST DONT CARE!!! MY FAMILY MY FRIENDS MY PEERS MY PROFESSORS. EVERYONE!!!!! THEY DONT EVEN REALIZE HOW FUCKING LONELY AND EMPTY I AM. WHENEVER I SAY SMTH MY WORDS GO THROUGH ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER. WHENEVER I GET THEM GIFTS THEY THROW THEM AWAY. WHENEVER I TALK THEY JUST ARENT FUCKING THERE. AM I JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH??????? IM TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN!!! AND YET IM STILL NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!!!! OH! SRRY I THREW MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY AWAY JUST SO YOU GUYS COULD BE HAPPY!!! JUST SO YOU COULD TREAT ME LIKE DISPOSABLE FUCKING GARBAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY WOULD CARE IF I JUST DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR. AND IF THEY DID ITS BC THEY WOULDNT HAVE A TOOL TO USE ANYMORE. I JUST WANNA KMS. BC THE ONLY REASON IM ALIVE IS FOR THEM. BUT THEY DONT CARE ANYWAY!!!!! IF I DIED THEYD JUST SHRUG AND MOVE ON WITH THEIR LIVES!!! I HAVE NO ONE WHO WILL ACTUALLY FUCKING LISTEN TO ME. NOBODY IRL OR ONLINE. they just don’t care! i tried so hard to show you i needed help but you didn’t fucking care!!!!