rambling, volume two <3

i don’t know what i’m feeling rn. i’m listening to a really bad song i made in twenty minutes max, and i should be sleeping but i just don’t wanna and my phone is abt to die but i don’t feel like charging it. i’ve spent nearly ten hours on my phone all day bc i don’t feel like doing anything. ever. and i wanted to c*t but i don’t have an razor blades and didn’t feel like plucking one out of a pencil sharpener. and oh fuck do i need to clean my room. if i don’t get it clean by the end of the week i’m honestly just gonna down a whole bottle of ibuprofen. it’ll taste better than most other shit i eat anyway. 9 hours, 36 minutes. that’s how much of my day i spent on my phone, not including my computer. i’m actually fucking worthless. i can’t tell if i wanna feel better, i wanna change and have a good life but i hate change. i despise change. and it’s clear to me i don’t deserve it.