Who am I?

Many times I've tried to define myself through our conventional means of language, but it seems as though using words such as "smart/stupid", "pretty/ugly" and so on, don't satisfy my sense of self. One of the biggest problems I have with using language like that, is that I don't really see a good way to make it work. 

Let's say you think you're smart. Based on what? Because during your interactions with other humans you've noticed that you often know more than them or solve problems quicker or do so in a more creative manner? Well, if make this comparison part of your identity, it's fragile. It is literally just based on factors that are totally outisde of your control. Whether you encounter someone smarter than you or do so more and more often, is not something you get to decide. 

Okay, how else could we do it then? Let's say that you want to call yourself smart, but this time only to yourself. No comparisons to the outside world. You're just a smort llil' human >:)

...what's the point of doing that? If you truly believe in yourself already/are confident, there'd be no reason to reassure yourself of your competencies. If you aren't, then how can you not lose touch with reality, if your compliments are fully self-contained? I don't really believe that you can. Some sort of connection to the outside needs to be established. 

So what's the solution then? I'm not quite sure yet. But from what I've been able to gather so far, it's to stop defining yourself in such limiting ways altogether. Our language just doesn't seem to be very "ego-friendly". Instead of viewing myself through clear words that make me appear like a dot on a timeline, I try viewing myself as the timeline itself. I am simply an ongoing thing, like a waterfall or something, idfk. I don't mean this in a metaphorical sense, but a literal one. We are ever-changing creatures in a ever-shifting world. And to us, it stays that way forever (if we die and we assume that nothing happens afterwards, I mean). I'm simply a Benji that's Benjying around the planet through whatever means I deem necessary. And so are you.