november 22. 2024

goodmorning.

after abt 200 hrs i beat bg3 today. i couldve had a way happier ending but i think it was overall really good. i love this game i already made a new character. tiefling warlock and decided to do a virtue name so i called her Normal. which is what i think she wants to be. im still identifying what the playthrough is but i threw a few mods in so i can play with everyone in my party at once and so they dont break up w me if i romance so i can explore the closer relationships. i keep everyone but shadowheart and sometimes karlach as close acquaintances. i want to save karlach and not have everyone die. i didnt even pick up gale in that run bc i was scared of his portal lol and i killed wyll too.

this morning i discovered a wound on barbies head and i guess she had pulled the scab off.

i had a pretty brutal dream earlier this month abt it and i found the one wound (in a similar spot) and then started finding them everywhere and she basically fell apart. i know that the circumstances in that dream werent true in real life but this has really freaked me out. it doesnt bug her at all but im not sure what exactly caused it or what it even is exactly but shes not upset so il just keep an eye on it.

i love barbie so much more than i will ever love anyone else and anything afflicting her probably bothers me 20x more. she even just came over to me for a second and said hi and shes fully fine.

im having such a hard time living. my place is such a mess and i ate too much takeout. i need to motivate myself to do it but even when i felt motivated today i was too tired. im so tired right now.

im not as sad as i say. i just feel like im dying every minute and think abt the past constantly but i also cant think!!

everything is ok everything is good. im normal and i am happy as well.