Burnt Out

I get it's the end of the week but I seriously have no motivation to do anything. I don't get ready as much as I used to and I cry mid makeup sesh. I do it strategically tho incase my makeup does come out looking alright. I'm in a weird phase where I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

My head hurts and I just wish school started already (I start January). I prefer being busy over anything else cuz at least I had more experiences. I did visit the UCLA campus and got to see the dorm/student life. I've been to a couple parties/events there prior. A sweet girl who knew some of my friends bought me lunch which was nice. I felt more comfortable and less of an outsider this time around.

Yet my intrusive thoughts have been loud N i can't help but feel suicidal. I hope things get better soon cuz I can't deal w this rn.. *_*