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For my 20th blog post, i will complain about being single.
I had a really good 2 dates with a guy from the town im temporarily living in for college. we didn't work out because I'm graduating in a month and would move 2 hours north and he planned on starting his career in january, meaning he would move away from Indiana.
Its so sad that i went through college without a relationship. ive been on countless dates but im still single. I went through high school the same way, all single.
The other day a 35 year old man hit on me while i was waiting for my friend. He kept asking me why im single and i had no answer. This man was a red flag because he was out asking for donations for his drumming group. he told me that he likes "fresh" woman after i told him i was 20 (im 21). ew.
im so sad that i cant share my graduation with a partner. I deadass want to go into full time sugar baby mode because it seems i'm not worth being in a serious relationship. I dont really like doing sex-work-adjacent work like that anymore. I want to be loved, not bought. but if thats the only way to have a façade of love, then oh well.
I want to get married too :(( I dunno if thats gonna happen.
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Miscellanity
Real. I want to have a relationship with someone but I need some growing up to do and to be stable with myself before I can commit to someone else. I fear it might take years if not decades