sweat glitter

i am just always looking and i dont know when to stop looking. and i tell myself, please stop looking. nothing is changing. nothing is happening. nothing is changing. nothing is changing. the world is still going on with or without me looking. your life goes on and my life goes on. i tell myself its unfair to say it so directly because of, i don't know, social norms. but one day i will stop looking and writing about it. maybe then... i dont know. i can't predict the future. i thought i could for a long time though.

my impulsivity kills me slowly. i am going 10000 miles an hour, top speed, and stopping all at once. just because it was fun. there's a reason i don't want to deal with the consequence. so i isolate. but hunger only lasts for so long. there's only so much i can take. 

the words in my head are saying darling it was not meant to be. i don't understand anything. why does something i do for 5 seconds affect everything forever. darling it was not meant to be. i thought i was inside your skin but i'm often wrong. i thought it would be easy. compatibility is no such thing. darling. it was not meant to be.

but we are all static

all we are is static forever