11/15

hey gang. i finally get a rest from the freaking torment for two days. i have to see my family tomorrow, early in the morning too. god, i do NOT feel like seeing my distant family rn, we just had a memorial thing for my dead uncle on the 12th i think and everybody was there and crying and stuff and talking to each other, and saying bible verses while I just stood around like an imbecile, just staring at random stuff. what was i even supposed to do honestly? I never really knew my uncle, he was crippled since the 70s so even when i did see him he couldn't speak to me. of course i feel sorry, i feel sorry because there were people crying. then after all that we went to dinner and everybody was just okay?? what? maybe i missed something. i just kept my mouth shut the whole time bc i just knew i would accidentally be inappropriate somehow, as I often am in situations like that. I just hope they didn't think i didn't care or something. 

yeah well, besides that this week was mostly going to school, talking to that friend i told you about, then going home and just passing out. havent even been doing good at school either, im out of it all day, theres hardly a time of day where i actually am living real life and being serious. he said he does that too, like going from dissociation to consciousness to back again throughout the day. i feel like i cant even control it at this point, having no friends for so long probably did that. I was so empty and bored last year with nobody but myself basically so ig its just something i picked up to pass time. that and of course drawing, which is always the more productive option. he likes pokemon, so i had to look at them too, i made a goodra, but ive been liked that one. 

shes hard to draw. i had to make her cute too. 

I have acne again and theres a huge beetle hiding in my bathroom at my dad's and i think its living under the floor. i picked up my towel and it ran into the closet i swear on jesus that it was three-four inches big i thought i was going to die. my dad says hes going to sell the house but honestly whos even going to want it? i hope that house blows up. 

uhhhhuhinhjk

im making another romance thing. im doing two romance things rn but ill write about my other story later. This story i made up isnt relatively new i wrote about it a while ago and got bored today and scribbled characters.

ignore the shitty drawings its more about the prompt. hope you can read my hand writing. yeah i thought that would be cool and kind of hot, a monster thing, but not like a scary monster like just a creature thing. idk. so i did another pen thing, i swear i draw in pencil sometimes its just it feels better to draw with a pen.

cute. so basically the creature in question is like anthropomorphic yak thing and she lives up on the mountain in her little herd/tribe thing. its like a very peaceful community yk they like farm stuff and maybe hunt idk (theyre supposed to be herbivores but i might change that.) dawa (yak) is kind of stupid ig and brutish and animalistic and stuff. the girl next to her is like the explorer and shes going up the mountain and it gets too cold and dawa takes her for reason idk yet (she might want to eat her, she might want to save her idk) and yeah thats the start. ill probably start actually making drawings again this week with pencils and stuff. idk why i have to make all these stories lesbian and stuff, my other story is like that already, and a lot of others before it, might make the explorer male but the yak is a girl.

okay thats everything going on in my life now, nothing else is happening. bye.