Daily Life #29

12 November 2024 (10:54 PM -  11:30 PM)

    Oh, boy, the last time I wrote a "Daily Life" blog was back in 21 September 2024 along with this format. I perused my old blogs again to refresh what I used to write about, and I felt kind of sombre about those things that passed: logging memories into a database/journal really is kind of important, even the most minuscule.

    I don't do much these days and the details of today reflect the details of the last few months since May of this year. In the mornings, I clean my retainers and brush my teeth and wash my face, then I apply moisturizer and sunscreen on my face and left forearm tattoo (since that one is exposed to sunlight more often than my others (but it's probably good practice to do it on all of them haha... idk i'm lazy!!)). Also, my forearms are exceptionally dry, so this is probably more helpful than I realize.

    Next, since I hate(!!!) eating, I make progress on my AutoCAD tutorials before I get bored and stop (usually about 20-30 minutes). The videos are only like 5-10 minutes long each but I keep pausing to take notes and follow along the video. Job applications have tapered off as the months progressed because they seemed to go nowhere. I think I'm supposed to have learned something and developed a smarter strategy as opposed to just sending in applications wherever, but I don't know if I'm aware of any changes I've made. Rather, I've mostly made myself aware of how demoralizing it is to keep applying and continuously get rejection responses (I saw a TikTok about how companies post ghost job applications as well without the intent to actually hire any new applicants... yawnnnnn). Hopefully, these government jobs CHOOSE ME!!! I want a career in the field I studied!!!

    Then, I usually eat lunch (it's about 12pm at this rate and I usually wake up at like 11am), and I join my parents to hatid my mother to her workplace. My dad drops her off, then the two of us (plus our dog, Apollo) go get me a boba milk tea drink. The workers have gotten familiar with me, and they automatically pull out my order as I walk inside. Although, today, they didn't realize I ordered, so they made it real quick right in front of me.

    When we get home, my dad usually does some activity elsewhere and I dogsit the rest of the day (either I play games in my room with Apollo napping, or we watch movies together in my parents' room since that's his favourite place to hang out).

    I would walk Apollo around 4pm or 5pm depending on daylight savings (i heard america isn't doing that anymore so this year was our last daylight savings???) and hang outside in the front yard until it gets too cold for me to stay outside. Today, my dad added more Christmas decorations. In particular, the parol.

    Then, I shower around 6pm and finish around 7pm. yeah, it takes me an hour... it's not all showering... i have the post-shower skincare routine and whatnot... It also doesn't help that I have an OCD ritual for the bathroom before and after showering as well >_> talk about time-consumers.

    Lastly, I eat dinner around 7-8pm. Today, I ate the last slices of pizza my brother Doordashed two days ago. I have a half-eaten burrito to eat in the morning (the first half which I consumed for lunch today). An unfortunate occurrence after eating dinner is that I ran around the kitchen and living room washing dishes and throwing out the trash and changing Apollo's pee-pads, which took about an hour. Of course, it was the rituals (anytime I had to use the sink, I ritual-ed the faucet, which took like 5 minutes or more each time, and I kept going back and forth to it for reasons). I don't do anything normal !!! I added a dramatic exit as I pulled myself free from the tethers of my mental prison: "Release me!" I heaved, but not too loudly because I don't want to be heard. How embarrassing that would be...

    Afterwards, I played some Throne and Liberty and did some good 'ol guild stuff until 10pm. Then, I played Tetris until I started writing this blog. I just wanted to write a blog, so I started writing ! I miss myself.

    I usually sleep around 2am, but I try to sleep earlier... :x i wouldn't say waking up at 11am gives the feeling of a full day; although, anytime i wake up at 7-9am via alarm, i always feel unbelievably heavy.

    today was a really bad day so far for my rituals -- the worst it's been this cycle. i don't remember the last time it was this bad, but i would guess about 2-3 months ago.