Da best day evar :DDDDD

Today I had therapy. My therapist led me through a guided meditation to help get to the crux of my procrastination issues. He asked me what I was feeling or experiencing and I told the truth, which was nothing. He told me even a black void is experience, and to just describe anything that I'm feeling. I found a lot of value in that, my history of meditation has mostly been with one individual who was essentially a cult leader and controlled every aspect of my mind and perception through our relationship with each other. I'll call him O. When I would meditate with O, there was a lot of expectation put on me that it would be some ridiculous, heart-opening transcendental experience and that I would see God or have a vision or realize something about the universe or become super calm from it or whatever. Meditation was supposed to change me. I was extremely enamored with O, so most of the time I would make shit up and act like it did, which in retrospect only kept me away from the actual value of meditation, which is observing yourself with pure and non-judgmental awareness. I told my therapist after the session how much it meant to me that he didn't judge me for not feeling anything and only wanted my honest account of the experience, AND that he found value in the honesty.

After therapy, I had to go pick up toilet paper from the store. I had exactly enough cash on me to buy a big pack for me and my roommates. I have this coworker, who texts me incessantly every day about mistakes I may or may not have made and ways he thinks I can improve at my job. Every day, without fail, he will send me dozens of texts, and most of them are not the least bit constructive. He'll send me messages like I shouldn't move a product from where he put it, when I only moved it a centimeter over. Or he'll send me a text about how I need to be restocking the shelves more, and then when I do he'll send me a text complaining that I restocked too much. And then the next day he'll restock exactly the same as I did!! It's infuriating to wake up to these texts every day and receive them throughout the day, even on my days off. He always puts a lot of attitude in them too, like he's really trying to make me feel like I suck and I'm bad at my job. So I sent him a confrontational text today essentially saying I didn't want him to text me on my off hours anymore unless he had a question and that I would prefer if he saved his criticisms for when I'm at work. He was being SUCH A BABY about it after I sent that text. Direct quote from him:

"Sorry for blowing you up I'll just not communicate about things to work on. I'm taking the time out of my day to let you know what to work on. Cool. Figure it all out for yourself."

And that wasn't even the only one he sent! I've never had such an immature coworker. But, honestly? Not my problem if he's taking it personally. I'm setting a pretty reasonable boundary there.

Anyway, that was on my mind as I was buying toilet paper today. I biked back home from the store and immediately left the house again to go catch a bus to the hospital. I had to get my blood drawn today - an errand I had been putting off for two years at this point. I didn't even pass out when they took my blood, which I normally do.

Since I happened to be in the area, I stopped in the other hospital building to schedule an appointment with my surgeon - yet another task I had been putting off for way too long. It was way easier than I expected and I'm going to be seeing him in January!

This day couldn't have worked out better. It feels like everything is falling into place and I feel so grateful that I have the ability to put in the work to get the things that I want in life. I came home and cuddled with my roommate's cat for an hour AND I weighed myself for the first time in months and found I had lost like 7 pounds! I've been needing to lose weight to qualify for this surgery I'm getting so I was very happy to see that. Later tonight I'll probably post a deep thoughts blogpost or something. I think I'm going to make dinner and chillax for a while. (-: