rdr2 brainrot + writing about my day u_u

while i'm waiting for winter break to start, i've been thinking about a modern au for the gang where micah preferably does not exist and they all live ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ) i still cannot think about anything other than rdr2, sadly, and i've been thinking about headcanons to help me cope with the gang's impending doom. 

i was thinking that dutch and hosea have this ranch. and because dutch is a grand idealist and hosea is his begrudging but supportive wife (lmao), i decided dutch would have this grand operation in which his ranch fronts as one of those troubled teen camps but is actually not abusive and saves the kids. or something...

IDK! odd idea, yes, but i'm rolling with this until i figure out something better.

i have so far focused on the beginning of this au, specifically arthur and how he ends up working on the ranch with dutch and hosea. i decided to preserve some aspects of the canon, like how dutch and hosea picked up arthur from the streets, how arthur was a sort of delinquent as a kid, and arthur's implied strained relationship with his father. 

i'm thinking that his father was emotionally neglectful and distant from the family and his mother had a progressive illness that prevented her from caring for arthur and witnessing the family break apart.

i'm also thinking that arthur was outcasted in his hometown, but i'm not sure why yet. maybe i can take his main inner conflict in the game (struggling with his morals and his life as an outlaw) and implement it into his early life. he never learned how to properly express his feelings, withdraws from his emotions until it explodes because his homelife necessitates him to not need help with his absent father and sick mother, feels trapped within the brutish persona slapped onto him... i will need to research arthur's character more, but i think what i have is good.

that's all i have right now, i think? i thought of most of this in the shower lolz, and i fear i may have forgot some things after i stepped out of the shower u_u. 

here's an artist rendition of the outfit i wore today! i am a fool because i wear these kinds of outfits and forget that my lecture hall is COLD and it is actually not as warm as it is outside. i always forget to bring a jacket T_T.

my parents have been working a lot ever since the semester started because. tuition. so i haven't been able to go out and spend time with them as much as i used to. today, though, we were able to go out for lunch and go to the mall after my lecture. :3

after eating, we went to barnes and noble. i always like looking at the stuffed animals in the kids section first because they're so adorable :3 so cutie :3 and ignore the price tag because i know they're expensive as FUCK! then i went to the manga section because i've been wanting to buy volume 8 of witch hat atelier but my barnes and noble never seems to have the volume in stock. u_u i feel like witch hat atelier is suited more as a physical read rather than a digital read! so i haven't progressed at all in the series for... probably months now. T_T 

after, we went to uniqlo because one opened recently in the mall. and honestly it was okay, i found some t-shirts that were cute (and a really ugly gojo satoru shirt LOLZ), but i don't wear t-shirts enough to justify the price. my mom bought a cute orange peanuts sweater for her work uniform, though :3 (she's a nurse! and gets to wear sweaters over her scrubs)

tbh i didn't feel like buying anything, but i'm glad i got to spend time with my parents. ^_^ i felt horrible yesterday, and today i woke up with such an intense feeling of dread (my heart was pounding, my eyes like saucers, i don't even remember if i had a bad dream i just remember feeling so anxious). i needed to go out and not be alone today.

god i remembered my 18th birthday is coming up in a little over a month, i've been thinking on and off about making a wishlist but i always forget things i want LOLZ

i'm filipino so normally i'd have a debut (it's like a quinceanera but when you're 18 instead of 15), but... there's not enough people who live here who would go T_T i loved the idea of a debut when i was younger, but i'm honestly probably just gonna have a really simple birthday :p i don't mind too much because i'm bad at parties, but it's like. very mildly disappointing.

and also debuts are EXPENSIVE fuck that!

i'll think about gifts or things i can do on my birthday to have something to look forward to...

for now i think i'm going to rest („ᵕᴗᵕ„) goodbye !!!!!!