no self control.

when i start to feel it, it's like my brain gets foggy and my eyes get heavy and then all the sudden i'm reaching for anything edible in sight. my fatass went from 190 in highshool to 125 (now) and i hate myself i feel huge and i want to be 120 by new years and so on...

i started my day today hating myself (typical) and i went for a walk in my swag outfit ofc :P and now i have 6.7k steps but i'm still like... fat so the minimum i always get is 10k but OF COURSE YESTERDAY I FELL ASLEEP EARLY AND COULDNT GET THEM ALL!!!! >:[ i hate hate hate hate hate hate that i can't even begin to describe the pain and disappointment i feel in myself because i was doing so good and now I'm not. I've had coffee so far and tea and i'll have something healthy before work because i'm trying to up my intake to 1k calories a day so i stop binging and lose weight that stays off... will update later but maybe not because i work today.