Sometimes i think of the future and cry

I know tht i can't predict the future,, but yh.

sometimes i just think of th eufture and cry

i might just b sayin' this 'cause it's so l8 at night,, but like...

man,, i wish i could've just

i dunno what i wish i would've done instead.

sacred,, fear.

i feel like that's a lot of what i feel.

i try not 2 let it get 2 me,, it's a bit hard. I want to try. I want 2 b better.

Fear. 

Fear that I won't b as good as i want 2 b.

 Fear tht i'll mess up and do something stupid.

 Fear that the outcome will be unsatisfactory,,

 that it won't be enough.

 Fear that I'll relapse,, 

that i'll collapse 

and everything,, 

everything will fall.

I get scared a lot. And it prevents me from doing things. 

Get scared of saying something i don't mean 2 say,, so i don't say anything at all, shutting myself away once more from everyone and everything

There is no room for mistake,, when you don't do anything at all

And it hurts

There r so many things i want 2 do. So many words i want 2 say,, ppl i want 2 talk to and places i want 2 go and art i want to make and and 

it's scary

I know it is

But little by little,, it becomes less and less scary

I know it's scary

I'm going to do it anyway,, because

as days as weeks as months pass by,,

i'm more afraid of having done nothing,, than having done nothing wrong.