it's nails would claw

At times, you could hold a cold water bottle to a rotting patch of my skin and i would have burned all pain receptors on it--and i don't feel anything. my condolences to normalcy, i feel I've burnt more than my pain receptors. i wish i weren't so meek. i wish i knew what they thought of me. i wish they knew what i thought of them. i wish they knew what I'd do when i crouch over the school's toilet seat, my legs on the dry floor and my arm lengthened over the bowl. and it stings more than they could ever imagine. yet the stinging is null compared to the somatic crawl in my stomach. twisting, turning, biting, and it's nails would claw. i assume my ego has risen too far. Too far yet too fragile. if it were nudged just a bit, it would all come crumbling down.