My body to God, in which “It” represents God, and I am not worthy to be a disciple

I lay here, because in the sky, I picture It. The eyes of It, towering over me as I look at that yellowed popcorn ceiling. That is my sky, that is what I lay for.

I fear that when I picture It, I do not picture It as It is to be seen for. I picture It as what I know, as to what I believe. I do not follow religion, I follow mind, and conscious, and It would understand for It does not equal what there is to follow but rather what is to be. 

See, It is not really “God”. Definition of God, is an image, a personification, emphasis. That is the true representation, It is passion, It is seen. And again, I do not see It for what It is, whether I play the card of what It represents or not. That card is not reality, that card is only a mask, to cover of what It truly is.

i cannot handle what It is. I cannot handle what It will be and what It has become, and truthfully I still do not believe.

I give my body to It, my existence, to believe in my idea of It, an It that I know of. I shed skin, blood, teeth, and nerves, that is my humanely existence. That is what makes up my body, against mentality and personality. I am meat on bones, I am not It, and I will never be the human idea of self enough to have It again.