Kinda a vent (Internet Diary 3#)

I wish I could lose my hearing, people are always too loud or too quiet and it hurts my brain and gets me irritated. This morning I was eating breakfast and I could’ve heard my brother chewing and I just wanted to yell at him to shut up and eat without any noise. For a while I been having problems in class where more people are there, they just don’t know how to shut up.

At the school I go to the students rule over the teachers and it’s so fucking terrible, when I interacted with a teacher I try my best to treat them like a normal human being where they are more then just teacher's but the students don’t really do that. How the students treat them is as if they are nothing but worthless human beings that should always get them what they want without effort or even the work done.

It feels as if my body is killing itself everyday, and it’s not like I don’t take care of my body. I do everything in my power to stay healthy without assistance I know I need. I wish I can stay within a positive mindset and not be in one like a normal teenager can do but that’s just not me. 

I’m going to die young no matter what, I never saw a future where I could be successful and be like everyone who doesn’t need help in any basic task that I’m given and have to do. 

If I could go to sleep and never wake up again I would or if I'm allowed too I would just stay in bed till i’m rotting and also always go to sleep to avoid participating in life.

I know I sound just like my mom but I don’t really care anymore, she couldn’t fix herself and get help so why would I be able to fix myself and get help. Yeah she had bipolar but I believe that’s just apart of her personality and was just reinforce badly by her trauma. 

Anyways, Goodnight and thanks to the people who leaves likes and comments