3rd wheel breaking!!!!!!!!!!!!

apologies for my bad english.......so

i stopped talking to this two girls (read earlier entries to understand) i gave been so called friends for few months and noww.. im so called friends with anothwer girl. From one side shes nice and sweet and surely wont hurt me but from another hand...everytime i talk to her in class or in places where my classmates are too she always says or acts so cringey that i just want to fxcking dieeee right there and now. why this happens only when we are on other sight? I know this friendship is not what i look for but i want to finish 9th grade bot being an outcast//

outcast?..i cant really say im an outcast of school. im not getting bullied even though sometimes classmates talk trash of me. so i cant say i get treated badly. But because i talk with that new friend i feel that i gte treated somehow worse?? maybe im overthinking. Im afraid that the fact that they not taking her seriously they will not take me seriously too.

2nd storyyyy

so

my classmates dont know im metalhead bc i know no one gives a damn so i just minded my own business. BUT there is 2 metalhead guys in my class that are good friends but i despise them for reasons. And they found out i listen to the same music as them and one of that guys thinks im just a wannabe..i dont care cus his a dxxkhead and absolutely worthless piece of disrespectful crap (lets name his A guy). he plays bass with my 2nd metalhead classmate who plays drums (b guy) and that drummer texted to me and sent screenshots of his chat with that A guy who texted him "i dont need you anymore and staff and staff" in short he found another person to rehearse with. I wish i said everything i think of A guy to B guy when i had an opportunity cuz that B GUY JUST FORGAVE HIM AND CONTINUIED THE FRIENDSHIP. HOW. WJHYY THHIS AXXHOLE WHEN THERE IS NOTMAL PPL LIKE ME..... ugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh now i hate them both. that B guy is kind of nice but he stopped chatting with me since then.. i thought since we have similar interest we will actually talk AND I WILL FINALLY HAVE NORMAL FRIENDS WHO SHARE MY INTERESTS but he didnt even said hi to me next day and never chatted to me since at school when i said it. and i stopped wishing somethinf. everyone is the samee ugh whats wrong with me. LIKE...we chatted quite nicely before that and there was no reason to stop talking with me. Well i guess fxxk em all////// i will just mind my own business once again and give up on them.

lets just hope i will finish the 9th grade