It's still there. . .

I thought if I asked him to reject me now, it would help take that pit of feelings away from my stomach. But it only made things stronger and worse, i still have feelings for him! I know DEEP DOWN, I still got it in me but the little btch behind me, is scared like a little girl trapped in the fken dark closet at the my old dark home. I've never cried for someone, not ever my ex-bf, yet I'm crying FOR HIM! I changed his nickname, back to his name; thinking it'll help me fken forget a bit. Nope, it didn't work at all. And yet I'm still....texting him now. I don't know what to do anymore.