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TW: Talks of suicide attempt.
Okay, so I really like this song from The Black Parade album. But at the same time, I have a connection to this song because as crazy as this might sound, I tried to end my life to this song. Yeah, fucking weird, I know. The lyrics were oddly soothing to me during the stages of my dark thoughts. It felt like the song was sung as a last ode to the end of someone's life. I'm not the kind of person who tries to get deeper into the lyrics of a song because I enjoy doing my own personal interpretations, but MCR was different, I guess? So now that I've been a little well, I looked back on that point in my life which wasn't that long but I'm a tad dramatic so I would say this song, funnily enough, was the song to which I wanted to end my life to.
All is well even though it was a tragic affair at the start. But hey, I got a memory to tie to The End. at least. I don't think of my attempt as something sorrowful. It was more of a rebirth where I went from willingly embracing death to appreciating life as her gentle hands were extended to me as if to pull me away from my misery. I love death but I am starting to enjoy the idea of staying alive until my time comes.
The line "When I grow up, I want to be nothing at all" resonated with me because that was exactly my thoughts as I grew up. I wanted to be a writer but my mom wanted me to have a professional career like being a lawyer or an accountant and that made me so fucking hateful of everything. I know I would make more money as a lawyer but if being a writer makes me happy and gives me a sense of purpose in life, why can't I do what I love with great passion?
The End. by My Chemical Romance
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Amadeux Xandros
Hey, it's me again lol :')
Be a writer bro. It's your life and no one else's, sure the perks of those other careers are nice, but if it's what you really want to do, you should do it. It's not going to be easy but the things you love are always worth the struggle. STEM can make the world go round, but the arts are what we all live for in one way or another. Even in this post I can see that you're a good writer.
I'm glad you don't see your attempt as something that you should try again, especially since I had a similar situation when I was much much younger and I totally get how that feels. It's all encompassing and dark. It's really eye opening. I like the way you described her, "as her gentle hands were extended to me as if to pull me away from my misery". It really does feel like that.
Looking forward to more of your blogs. :)
Thankkk youuu geez I'm going to start saying thanks a lot ahahah. You are really nice and cool. Scratch that, you are fantastic af. And yeah, I'm planning to follow my dreams because as long as it makes me happy, money doesn't matter much in the long run even though I'd probably whine about it at some point.
I'm sort of proud for coming up with the "as her gentle hands were extended to me as if to pull me away from my misery" line so glad you liked it! I look forward to seeing more of you as well haha ^^
by EfialtisUndead; ; Report