Self made hell

I don't know how to say this without sounding like a miserable piece of shit, but I am a miserable piece of shit, no lie. This year, a lot has happened and the year is going to come to an end soon, marking a new beginning. I have no idea what my problems are (I know, but I choose to not acknowledge them much), and it's making things worse for me. My mood swings are terrible and I feel endlessly empty inside. I hated myself more and more as the days passed and I wasted all my seconds, minutes and hours on something meaningless. I have no firm grip on life and I am not going steady at all. This is bullshit and well, I am a selfish prick deep inside. This is my confession, I suppose.