COSPLAY SHENANIGANS

i never looked at my appearance as nothing more than one thing: ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY HIDEOUS.

most of the goddamn time i'm VERY and not just VERY VERY but an unbearable crying, shitting, pissing and shaking type of VERY. very of what though? im sick of my own skin that's what.

every waking moment i make myself to be fool and an even more foolish idiot when i try to smile and look myself upon the mirror. i hate it, i was supposed to be born into a cute girls body! 

What the fuck went wrong, God?

If not a gal's body why not a macho man or something that's awfully decent, decent like an orange afternoon on a warm friday after coffee decent.

i dont intend to change what i look like thru transition but good god i wish i looked better.

and yeah, sure only i can do what makes my body look better but a lot of the times i'm too SOUL-SUCKINGLY exhausted out of my MIND or im studiously busy.

yknow i wanna cosplay some lovely characters like Crona from Soul Eater or Medicine Pocket from REVERSE 199 and i rlly love them but then i think oh shit i would never look go in it. sure, i see people who try forth to cosplay that they want and i'm really applauding for them in my head but still they all look offish from the characters. well beauty and shit in relation with the characters i'll maybe talk about it in the next blog bcos that may be a lot to say.

in the end i wanna get rid of this ridiculous reptilian-like face of mine and just lose weight. it wont help to cosplay if every inch of my legs are covered in wounds i sustained durig an allergy attack. sigh sigh

maybe i'll write about who i write for