philosophy about love

I really want to believe that god has a plan for my love life cause I have no idea who will fix it.

Gosh, why is being a teen in love such a hard experience? It's not like I can travel and see people from across the country or do other things that seem normal for adults. idk if I watch too much TV but having a relationship as an adult seems much easier, like you already aren't with your family every day so you don't have to hide it or tell it to someone. But maybe I just do not know how is it since I am not an adult/ never been in a serious relationship 🤷‍♀️

Not like I am madly desperate for a bf but how long can I wait??? Even the weirdos at my school are having gfs and how come the prettiest girl ever (me) had nothing??? Life is so unfair fr... at least I know my place and I wouldn't do anything to get male attention like some girls I know, I believe that "Your beauty is measured by your modesty",

I won't be like "Hi girls look at all the guys I am talking with I am such a lil slut loll. I have only guy friends cause I am such a tomboy and one of the boys" AAAAAAA GOSHH I CANT STAND THIS,,,, IF MY GIRL FRIENDS WERE LIKE THIS ID RATHER BE A FRIEND WITH A ROCK FOR REAL,,,,, and let's not talk about how she is dressed and posting pictures of herself, but this is probably why shes talking with so many guys right? Why guys can't see the real beauty in this life and not only think about sex,, I have no problem with sex itself but I do have a problem with how normalized it is today to openly talk about this. I'm not saying this is pointless but I don't think that it is necessary to talk about it most of the time, sorry.. if you aren't my bestie/ bf I don't want you to know or know about yours honestly,

and it's not possible for someone to only talk about one subject for their whole day, like do you do other things than talk about boys and the gym??? AND BOYS FIND IT ATTRACTIVE LIKE HOW??? omg, I really hate this girl I wish she would just shut her mouth and her phone will turn off forever,

I feel like it is kinda impossible to find love today, but it is possible to find lust :/

Sorry guys about this random philosophy i am just so tired of having the same story with the same people over and over again, and nothing can change the fact I am in love with a man who probably has nothing but lust for me. This is a really shitty situation to be in... but I guess it is what it is,