Why is life like this?

Like seriously, it sucks, I hate me and my life. I hate how I look to. Everything is just... fucking pointless. I'm only really on this so-called earth for 2 maybe 3 people. The people I talk to with ease. I can talk to about them about stuff I've been through, no judgment. But I always have the feeling I will not be there "7 minuets", or they hate me. Like why? Why. I don't get it one second, you're so happy with me the next you're telling me how I hate you. Even though they have no evidence. I just don't want that to be my reality. Where no one likes me and Im alone.