when we were young(er)

well shenanigans definitely ensued.

as i am now phoneless and walletless. oh well. of course it had to happen to me though. froze my bank accounts and put my phone on lost mode shrug emoji

anyway...... the good stuff this weekend. love my friends forever. love mcr forever. sometimes i forget mcr is my favorite band of all time ever and then i see them front row and scream along to words i havent thought about for a year like ive known them my whole life and it really makes sense. first night we went around to all the different bands. lost my phone/wallet right after thursday when i crowdsurfed for coheed. thursdays set was soooooooo good like. ive seen them a million times but this was real spicy. fob and mcr from the distance. aah. day two.. mcr barricade camping. it was rough honestly. but my loops really really helped. ive never camped like that before right at the front with nowhere to go. lets just say you become friends and enemies real quick. mostly friends though. its amazing, suddenly you're sharing all your food and water with so many people because we all need it. getting up for some sets, sitting for most. bass so deafening it makes you cough. 

mcr was really great. i got mikey's bass pick. ray pointed at me. i'd like to believe gerard looked at me once (but wouldn't everyone). but i did think we were gonna get more. idk what of but just more. it was.. kind of.. transactional? it was amazing and beautiful and i wouldnt trade it for anything. but now they are gone and.. idk. it all came and went so quickly. 

i really want to take a leave of absence at school. everything keeps going wrong and i deal with it but i'm not built to deal with it. i finally know how to scream. when i grow up i want to be nothing at all