(Picking Up) The Gun

I haven’t written a piece for this blog in some time – it’s been a bit of a whirlwind of events and internal struggle, and all the while I’ve been thinking “isn’t this perfect material for a blog?” I don’t think that what I write here is really “worth” reading from the perspective of an outsider, but I found that writing helped me conceptualize and sift through my thoughts.

And that’s what blogs really are for me – in the act of writing, I always seem to find nuggets of calcified thought hidden in fine grain abstract musing. This blog is a sieve for those thoughts, to dig through and find the shit worth writing. As of late, I think there’s a lot of shit worth writing about! 

Despite my newfound inspiration to write for this, I didn’t always view it as something necessarily positive. I hate that I thought of this blog as a short time, uninformed fling. Extramarital intercourse (I’m married to writing shitty short stories, I think) fueled by a drive to feel bad about myself. You know, paying a hooker and crying afterwards. For a while after I “ghosted” this blog, I began to view it as an exercise in bloodletting. Digging open wounds to let them “air out”.

I know I said that I should write on the things I like in my last post (or the one before that?), and don’t worry, I will. In fact, I think I can start now! I can step away from the bloodletting and step towards the light (in a non denominational, non death related way).

I’ve started college! Only four weeks in, and I started extremely late. Everyone I knew started weeks to months before I, and that extended summer was nice - I’m leaving home, and I can’t say I spent the last week being productive. (Getting #crunked if you get what I mean.)

College has been nice, though. Meeting people is always a strange experience; socialization is tough, and I’m not great at social compromise. The good thing is, I’m meeting people I can mesh with! Of course, there are annoying people, but the great part about college is that… it’s huge! I can walk away from people and never see them again if I so choose!

I’m starting a second blog that will (most likely) not be posted or related to this one. It’s for updating my IRL friends and family to my college musing so I don’t have to tell all of them one at at time. It’ll be more watered down than this, for sure, but it’ll be writing.

I’m gonna sign this off with this – I’m going to keep writing this blog. Weekly, if I can. It’ll be good for me, it’ll be good for writing, and it’ll be good for all of the funny people online to read my bullshit.

See you soon, I hope.