crying hard asf

My life is literally so boring.

I never have exciting things or just things that I'd be like "omg this was so much fun"

and if so, if I go somewhere cool this probably was after I cried my eyes out or went crazy, I feel so miserable. All of my friends are doing stuff like traveling and doing something with their life and I am just in my room sitting and crying, and over what? Absolutely nothing, well not really nothing... but nothing I can do would make it better. 

I might exaggerate a bit, but this is what this era feels like. I haven't gone to school in a month since the war, so I have a lot of time on my hands, but I keep lying in my bed thinking and thinking about the past and future. And especially about the fact that I haven't heard from most of my friends for soooooo long. I usually talk with only two or three people barely.

Like nothing is working out for me. No. Thing.

There is not even one person I feel close to enough to be like "See, I think I ...." literally I don't want anything. Especially other people knowing I have problems or even worse touching and hugging me, idk I just don't like it at all,

I wish I had one person I'd trust so I could share my thoughts with since I don't talk about things like that even with the people I am with the most, :/ Except for god ofc

I literally have no power for anything anymore, can I just skip to the part where I am mentally stable again?