phone and my mom

Life is actually so ass because me and my best friend are a bit mentally ill so my mom has to follow us everywhere. Like actually for what reason we are not going to try kill ourselves,, and it's especiallh bad when you consider she lives three hours away at a care home for people with mental health needs and I only see her every 4-6 months. now everything is ruined just because I decided to go to the roof of my school. I literally just had a bad morning and I didn't even jump off the roof. if you ask me I'm not crazy I don't need therapy or help. I don't need god or support from anyone. I live life hiding behind a shell of a person and at night I write stupid blogs on spacehey on my school laptop because my mom set screen time to 7 fucking pm!!!!!!!! Life is so amazing and I don't want to slit my wrists at all. On the topic of cutting I really just want to do it in spite of everyone and because I like the way it looks. I get jealous of people with cuter scars than me. Mine are fading and ugly. Wowie I feel so amazing!!! Just kidding nothing changed!

I also feel like this is a great time to mention how many fights me and my mom have had over my best friend. She complains that she's a bad influence because she cuts and like bro that didn't have anything to do with her but my mother would love to put the blame on anyone so who better then my best friend. She doesn't even know about my other friends,,, but either way she just hates her and hates what she's done to me. Like yeah maybe she seems to be a bit of a bad influence but she never did influence me to do anything. It was all twitter. I can't believe I've managed two years without ever mentioning twittrr to anyonr. my mom also wanted me to wipe my whole phone clean after taking it from me for three months because she didn't want me to have my friend's contact info. Safe to say that never happened but she added screen time locks and has been increasingly more strict these days. It used to be everything switches off at 8 but today she made it so all social media combined can only amount to two hours. I literally can't be chronically online anymore. Being chronically online is like my whole personality like hahaha skibidi Ohio gyatt. I actually want to fucking kill myself at the end of the day. if you remove all the brainrot I'm not a very interesting person to talk to in real life which is a shame. I don't have any redeeming qualities either like being really nice of helpful. Im just kind of a waste of space.

I love my mom though but sometimes I wonder if I'm depressed because it's genetics

enough yapping!! nobody cares!!!!