my life is a cursen't

Have you ever thought life is a curse? That to live is a punishment? I wake up every day, repeating the same depressing routine. I'm forced to interact with people I have no dislike or just have no interest in talking to and am surrounded by people who demand more than I can give.

Every achievement feels hollow and every failure weighs twice as much. It's almost like life is slowly grinding down my soul until there's nothing left but the empty shell of what I once dreamed of becoming.

You know, maybe I just have terrible luck. Or perhaps I'm making imaginary problems in my head that are making my life miserable. I just feel like I'm not enough in everything I do. It's never enough.

A lot of people will just tell me "It gets better". Well, what if it doesn't? What if I'm stuck in this constant cycle of struggle, pain, and misery? I've always found it stupid when people keep repeating this annoying phrase. "suffering has meaning". What if it IS just suffering? Plain and simple. Meaning is just a way to cope.

Does life truly have no meaning? Are we all born just to die? No. Does a book start just to finish? Does a song exist only for its closing note? No. Death is a fate we will all meet, but that does not mean we are born just to die. We are here to laugh, to love, to cry... to feel. We are born to live.

I've learned that it's okay to feel lost and overwhelmed. It's part of being human. As I slowly work on improving myself, I'm beginning to see the brighter side of life. Yes, there will still be pain and struggles but within those, I realise, are opportunities for growth, understanding, and resilience. 

This rant probably won't make much sense to anyone reading this. It's just my way of forcing myself to believe that there's more to life. And maybe, just maybe, all the memories I've made— memories, of joy, of sorrow, of love, and of hate— make it all worth it in the end.