DIGITAL :33333333

:3 everything feels doomed to be connected now, like there's no room for error, no space for the uhhh  randomness of chance anymore.the more we fast track into the future, the harder it is for me to feel at ease without technology. it’s strange, considering where i started, back when i first started diving into strange radical ideas, especially my cute little opposition to industrial technology. i was caught up in the hype of "ohhh, go uncle ted!"—until i began to see the flaws, not just in his plans, but in the very way he understood the world. his conclusions felt so naive, formed without full knowledge, like a child’s first grasp at rebellion. and much like he preached, he used his monke brain and could only think to try and blow up these machines. sorry ted... they're airbourne now. the machines are invisible.

and now, i've turned to researching accelerationism. reading among the authors of accelerationism like nick land, alex williams, mark fisher, and the rest. and here we are, too deep in the grimy sewers of corporatism to claw our way back, we slide back down into shit. you can't do anything in this world anymore without some sort of digital profiling. our identities, our names, everything about us, are stored in the massive digital data bank warehouses we call social media. even if we tried to somehow fucking scrub ourselves clean from the traces we've left in the wireless sands of time, so much would remain! we've spent years online! all those  years of accepting those sweet sweeeet cookies. facebook knows about your wittle breakups, twitter knows your political party, and reddit? it knows what porn you watch. 

and we are so fucking willing. sometimes i truly feel it, I start to break, like i can sense the vibrations of the networks humming around me. the 5g, it feels like it’s frying me. i imagine eyes everywhere, watching through the camera on my phone, through the lens of my chromebook. the future stretches out infinitely ahead, and concepts like roko’s basilisk really drag me down, intrigue me. PLEASE, i want the crash to come. the brakes of this transit are long gone, the car's horn silent. there’s no warning left, so why not just slam my foot on the gas and embrace this shit???!??

online information much like the tree of knowledge, is ripe, and ready to spoil the young and ignorant. so many people read the headlines, not the text. its all illusionary. lets all love lain. I believe god acts much like a machine of some sorts. when I close my eyes, I see the wired creature smile at me, it's joy just a performance executed. I want to become a cyborg, I would love to leave my body like an exoskeleton as well. 14 year old lazarus, if you could hear me now, if you could see what I'm typing...

kiss the screen for me, little lazarus.