Sui©ide/de@th note

In case if I die, I am dividing this letter. 10/2/24 10:55pm

Part of my S/D note, Play Hello Charlotte, every game except Delirium (the lore is part of my life, mostly characters like Bennett, Anri Warhol, Charles Eyler, Q84, and Vincent Fennell) 

If I D!e in suicide: I guess the intrusive thoughts won, when I always say "I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF" I always mean it. Just a little trivia

I want to apologize to my friends Chloe, Chelsea, Clea, Brechylle, Micaela, Lormiel, and Princes, thank you for being part of my life, I love you all so much, I wish that I lived longer to be with you guys, I miss you so much, but I feel like I really want to get rid of myself for good, I'm so sorry, please don't die for me, I want to watch you all if I have the chance to if heaven is real, I really wanted to stay in CU, I can't deal with the pressure in my new school and moving away, it really ruined my mental health, I can't take it anymore, I just can't, I want to think that I'm always okay, I always joke around with new friends, but I always feel empty and sad, I hated the feeling, without you all, I'm very weak, lost, very empty, and very lonely. To Brent, thank you for being one of my best friends, I really liked and admired you, I'm very sorry for the things I made you misunderstand, and the things I vented, I really wanted to hear you express yourself more, I'm thankfull for your time, I'm sorry for not hearing stuff you wanted to talk about but can't since your maybe anxious, I'm sorry for misunderstanding you too, it's my fault for not understanding you, I really like you and I'm sorry. To my family, I'm sorry for being a disappointment and a dramatic asshole, I'm sorry for being so rough and an embarrassment in the past and now, I really hate myself, I don't want to be seen as very dramatic, I understand that you all hate me, that's what I always understand when growing up, I never felt love for my relatives, cousins, but I love my mom's side relatives.. I'm sorry for making you all hate me, I'm very sorry. I can't be smart or very talented, and I always end up being spoiled and dramatic, I really wanted to be better than the others, but I really can't. That's one of the things that triggered me, self doubt, comparing and insecurity helps me become very unstable. I understand that this family can't understand, that this generation is very sensitive nowadays, people aren't like the past times. To the past friends in my old school that I have hurt, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, I know you all still hate me for my weird behavior, I have mixed feelings about you all, but I'm really sorry for being so weird and not fitting in. I'm not smart, confident, creative, and good looking. I can't be anything. I'm nothing. I'm sorry. I cant take it anymore. 

10/16/24 10:58pm

After tomorrows day ends. I'm gonna end it all, I don't care anymore, I'm having a hard time, I may be dramatic, but I really want to die because of this. Because of everything. I can't anymore. I want to die. I don't care anymore. I don't wanna get hurt. So I'll just end it all and  hurt myself.  If being reborn exists, I want to be reborn as someone who is the opposite of myself, I hate myself entirely. Goodbye everyone. 

My message: play Hello Charlotte and try to understand the whole story, everything is relatable, even Hello Charlotte: Heavens gate. 

If I D!e from natural causes: The grim reaper was desperate lol, time to meet my fantasies from heaven

Oyasumi

-Xeriah