socialising is terrifying, whyyyy

ugh! i should practice socialising again since in my teenage years i rather stopped socialising like i shoouuld and now, in my early twenties, shiiiiits hrd. how tf ppl start communicating to make friends WHAT WILL ACTUALLY LIKE LAST FOR LONGER THAN 1 HOUR, the beginning part is so hard.

but then again, i gotta keep in mind that it is normal to have just small group of friends, which i do, im set. so i shouuld perhaps stop focusing on like the idea of making friends, and just focus on socialising in general. bigger focus point turns smaller, becomes easier to manage (like my therapist said, make ur activities into smaller managable pieces)

but broooooooo!!!

literally, logged back on msn, to perhaps chat with ppl. nope. i do not know how to chat. and i should be the one texting first. tbf, it doesnt really help that ppl who mainly send me friend requests are men in their 30s. i have nothing in common with yall, pissssssssssss offf!