Merry Christmas, you hygienic animals.

Dear HeySpace,

Here to say Merry Christmas to all!
Christmas, they say, is Christ's Birthday, you know, celebration moved by Constantine to December, when Christ was really born in summertime, they say. They say he did that because summertime's Sol Invictus was too unconquerable for all that Roman conquest, and so Christianity's loyal followers decided to conquer Christ for their own purposes, then, really nailing him to the cross yet again, I guess. So, Christmas doesn't just come once a year, like they say, they say, to be honest, and not even just twice a year, like we have evinced, you know, but twelve times too, for the Twelve Days of Christmas, for each of the rays of Christ's thorny crown, you know, are one Christ-mass, to be honest. But still, let us not be deceived or gone astray, you know, because for all the switchery ditchery doo's, and hickory-dickory-dock's, and candy-coal filled Christmas socks, pulled off the mantle by Constantine and Christian Piety, you know, the Christmas Spirit is for all, to be honest. Let nothing you dismay of tidings of comfort and joy on Christmas day, when Christ was Born, they say! And when he rose again, too, you know, over and over, a day for the ghost of Christmas past, present, and future, they say, and for a whole lot more, you know, and just how many times a year, they say, who could say, to be honest? And Christmas day is always off, at least in the USA, where Hallmark gets its pay, to be honest, and nobody really cares what day of the week it falls on then, for all their dividends, you know. Let us learn from Scrooge, you know, and smile with love amongst our family and friends, you know.
So Merry Christmas, to be honest!

Best Regards,