I've come to terms

She's probably gonna be my reason. I just wanted to work with her but she sees it as me doing what she wanted to do, I wanted to do it too. But she sees everything as a competition. She's probably gonna be the reason I kill myself, if I do I'll say goodbye to my managers who actually believed in me. My girlfriend has been intensionally putting me down so I'll stop working as hard, I just wanted to be good at something like her. But she saw it as competition, so I'll probably end up killing myself because I now know my life will be forever chained in her jealousy and competitive nature. This is a cry for help, and a hopeless life with no solution for me.